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Pets: the wild kind - pets


Just as we moved out to the land a duo years back does NOT mean we want to run a farm. Tending to animals is just not how we want to spend our time. We don't want cows or sheep or chickens. We don't want hogs or ducks. We don't even want a dog or a cat to train.

OK, so my wife says that she wants a cat, but that's only for the reason that she knows I won't have everything to do with it. I assume that if I ever said, "OK, you win. Let's get a cat", she would run screaming down the stairs pulling at her hair and just keep on running. . . causing dent to the flight of stairs carpet, not to cite the casement at the foot of the staircase.

We don't want a parrot or a rabbit or a hamster or even a mouse.

But when you live in the country, you have pets, whether you like it or not.

The first summer, we were welcomed by Muffet the skunk. While she never responded to that name, we let her keep it. She just loved our manure heap. In fact, she had a frequent-eater pass at the all-you-can-eat manure buffet.

The be with summer we were skunk-free, but this summer we were blessed with a new peripatetic body mist salesman. We did not name him, but we have gritty that he is on a diet. He stays away from the all-you-can-eat droppings buffet.

He is also much less gifted than Muffet. When we see him, we jump and shout and wave our hands to get his attention,. But we by and large have to get his interest three or four times ahead of a touch in his microbe-sized brain clicks in and says, "Wait a minute. That's not the hot dog vendor beckoning me to clean up his leftovers. Maybe I ought to turn around. "

But he is smart adequate afford a two-tier housebreaker deterent. First, he drives them away with his odor. "Peee-ew. Let's go rob the Jensons down the road. " Back he digs thousands of tiny pits all over the lawn to trip any intruder foolish an adequate amount of to try to escape.

And to counter your question, no I did not face-to-face verify the gender of these skunks. But you are free to check if you doubt my word.

This summer, we naked an exotic spider (See http://www. vitamin-supplements-store. net/spider. html). Painted on its inch-long black back are two clear blond eyes. Spooky. We even watched it wrap its prey - a small, light brown airborne thingy. With amazing speed, the spider scurried from the base of her web en route for the helpless victim at least a foot away. Then in a be important of two seconds flat, the spider spun the fly about three or four times, weaving it into a web case like rolling a corpse in a carpet at the back Luigi's Fine Finer and Smokes. No hoodlum could have operated with one tenth the speed.

Just a few hours ago, I was proud to show off a bees nest over a foot tall execution from a low arm in our One Acre Woods.

"Wow. It's just like in Winnie the Pooh!" That was Hardly Lady, now 3 years and 3 months old.

"Destroy it. There must be thousands of bees in there!" That was my wife.

The fact is that I have had to abolish four bees nests in the past three weeks, all among the gravel in our foundation. I am not keen to drive the bees away from their plant nest and en route for the house. In fact, I think I'll post an arrow sign near the house pointing to the forest: "Cheap rent. Drudgery hive. Alive community. "

So far, we've avoided the pets confidential the house - we won't confer the "storm trooper ants incident" or the midnight mouse-trap peanut-butter visits - and we have kept the hogs and sheep at bay (although the chickens guiltily crawl all the way through the fence and the stray cats like to run hog wild about our land).

No pets, perhaps. But you still have to share your space with skunks and spiders and bees when you live in the country.

Coming soon to a humor article near you: How I adopted 14,673 cluster flies on a Tuesday afternoon. . . . without even flouting into a sweat.

About The Author

David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column.

Visit his home page: http://www. thehappyguy. com

David is owner of The Liquid Vitamin Supplements Store: http://www. vitamin-supplements-store. net

Info@thehappyguy. com


Pets impact how we shape communities

Exotic Pets in Minnesota  Mpls.St.Paul Magazine

Pets of the Week: Cotton and Fancy  WDIV ClickOnDetroit

Pinellas Pets of the Week | Pets  Tampa Bay Newspapers

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